Here is a collection of some of the tweets that I posted over approximately a one year period.
Why aren’t there ever supertanker olive oil spills? All the animals would be pre-marinated. That would be delicious.
The El Camino is the mullet of the automotive world.
The first beer after work is almost as good as the nine I had during.
I can’t get the iCarly theme song out of my head and I have an erection. I hope they are not related.
Brushing a dog is like eating crabs. You never finish, you just get tired.
Creationists must think the Flintstones is a documentary.